Recovery Is Possible and Staying Sober Is Possible and It’s Easy Too!

A graduate from Narconon Denmark shares her story.

 

I had been on drugs for 10 years.

I was a happy child, coming from a good family with high principles and morals. I went to the best private school in my hometown, to the best English school and to the best private college.

I was one of those children that could make lots of friends very fast; I had very open communication and it seemed that I was a pleasant person for the others to have around; I was a very happy girl.

I was a good student and I used to be the “mathematics genius” during the last years in my school. My teachers liked me and I was also pretty popular and I used it to protect those that others used to chase.

When I was 15-16 years old I had everything I wanted. I had pocket money when others didn’t, I could buy anything at any time when other kids could not.

I started hanging around with the “rock stars” of the area. I got a boyfriend that all the other girls wanted to have for themselves but he was mine. In a few words, I started being “special” in my own world, something that all others would like to be.

When I reached the age of 18 years old, I smoked my first joint. Nothing happened—which was a big disappointment to me. The second time, I could not move from the chair for 2 hours. My mind was working, but my body was 100% numb. Soon after that, I got a boyfriend who within one year “taught” me all the drugs that existed at that time; hash, pills, amphetamine, heroin, cocaine, trips—combined with plenty of alcohol.

I never thought it was a bad thing. Actually, I thought that I was very cool and fun and that the fun will go on and on.

After school, I worked in private education becoming a kindergarten teacher. My dad sponsored me and my sister and we had our own private kindergarten. My sister left the business after the first year and I kept it going alone for 4 more years. I was still using drugs once a while for the first 2-3 years; usually during the weekends and holidays.

My different boyfriends were also users and gradually all my new friends were only users too.

One morning I was at work. I had half gram of heroin in my pocket and I decided to go to the toilet and sniff it. That was it! I thought that I was so stupid to not have thought of this earlier because it made me so high. This was exactly what I needed to get the work done for the day.

I was taking care of the class with 2 to 3 year old kids. I started using heroin every day while being with the children. I would fix a line of heroin on the small refrigerator and sniff it right in front of them. Other times I did it on the small table in their sleeping room. I would sniff heroin while waiting for them to sleep during the day time. “They do not understand anyway” I thought… I do remember them looking at me with big eyes and smiling to me while I was taking my drugs.

I started using drugs almost daily, later it was every day and even later it was several times a day. I would not stand up in the morning if I knew that I did not have heroin, I would not take a shower if I didn’t take heroin, I would not go out of the house or on holidays, I would not talk to anyone if I did not take heroin.

The business was surviving only because my mum was covering up for me. She would drive in the morning with the school bus until I got and used drugs so I could work. She was not happy about doing it, but it seemed that she had no choice.

I honestly did not realize that I was addicted before I was fully hooked on the drug. I would talk only when it was “necessary,” I would forget to eat for 2-3 days and I reached 45 kilos. I was living with my family but I had nothing to do with them; there was nothing that could touch me, I had no feelings for anything and anyone.

I had a boyfriend who was a drug dealer. I had heroin for free for a couple of months. Then he started asking me for money. I started stealing and lying to get money. I was selling drugs and all kinds of things to get money.

All my friends didn’t want to have anything to do with me. I found myself alone with my dealer boyfriend who was pushing me to get money.

The year of 1998 I felt very tired. All my life the last 4 years was an endless running to finding money, to buy my heroin and run to find more money to buy heroin and the same again and again. I was thinking “this is not me.”

I could not understand where it went wrong. It all happened very sneakily and here I was sitting and wondering where I lost myself.

It seemed impossible to be happy, impossible to stop heroin and impossible to make a new start. I was too tired to try. I didn’t want to be like that anymore.

During that time, I saw no way to make it out of that trap. My dealer was selling in the evenings because in the morning he was in a rehab program. I was sure that that year would be my last year. I would just have to wait until I died. Nothing mattered any more; anyway, I had nothing to loose.

“My sister asked me if I wanted to do the Narconon program. I could go to Denmark and she would be there for me. I said “yes” without much thought. I just felt that I deserved one chance.”

My sister asked me if I wanted to do the Narconon program. I could go to Denmark and she would be there for me. I said “yes” without much thought. I just felt that I deserved one chance. Thanks to my family’s financial support, I started the Narconon program without any belief in any result.

I went through the first 2 months in a fog. I was very impressed how I could get through the withdrawal with so much less pain than I was used to. The 2 times I tried to do it myself it lasted 3 months and it was so painful.

I started “waking up” during my Narconon program.

The first time I felt that I had a chance to make it was during the New Life Detoxification program. It was not as impossible as I thought before.

I started laughing and talking and finding a meaning in life. I started finding reasons to stay alive and discovering the reasons that I started using drugs. I learned to confront things in life and people and I handled many situations from my past. Doing so, I could live with pride and not in shame for the rest of my life.

Narconon Life Skills courses taught me how to handle my life and strengthen my weak points. I got all the tools I needed to live without the fear of falling back on drugs again, or the stress caused by having them around. I could wake up and smile.

I became a happy person; I made true friends who are there for me. Today I am a mum of 2 beautiful children.

Thank you to my great family and the Narconon program that saved my life and gave me back all that I had tossed away so carelessly.

Sober for 18 years!

K.M., Narconon Graduate

If you know someone who needs help, contact Narconon Europe today. We are happy to help you get rid of addiction.