How to Handle Loved Ones Refusing to Get Help?
The situation that most families find themselves in is that they want desperately to help the addicted person, but he (or she) refuses help. He doesn’t want help, he doesn’t need their help, he can handle it on his own, he says. Or he claims there isn’t even a problem that requires any help.
The problem is that these claims have been made, in some situations, after the addicted person has overdosed and gone to the hospital, been arrested, gotten divorced, and lost multiple jobs. Maybe the exact manifestations vary from person to person, but the overall situation is the same. An addicted person loses control over his life and the problems become more massive and more destructive.
It’s Like the Addiction is Talking
The first thing a family should realize is that when an addicted person answers their question, “Do you want help?”, it’s rather like the addiction is going to be the one answering, not the person they know and love. The person only feels normal and functional when he has the drug he is addicted to. He feels like the only way he can function is to keep getting more of the drug. It seems necessary to refuse help because getting sober just seems to mean sickness, pain and constant cravings.
The addicted person who has lost everything has also lost hope of ever recovering.
Certainly There are Exceptions
In some cases, the addicted person does come to the family and beg for help. Something has revealed to the person how terrible his life is. Perhaps it was an overdose death of someone he cared about. Or perhaps he has done something awful, something criminal, that he never ever thought he would do and this woke him up.
It really doesn’t matter why it happens. If it happens, it is vital for a family to get that person into an effective rehab immediately—within hours if possible. If they wait a day or more, he could succumb to the cravings and be gone again.
So What is a Family to Do?
The first thing is to understand what they are facing. The addicted person’s refusal to accept help means little. There is just more work to be done. They should stop at nothing to get him to agree to rehab. Who in the family has always had the most influence over him (or her)? Is there a family friend, minister, doctor, teacher who could always get through to him? The family needs to be united in their determination for him to arrive at rehab.
They may have to refuse to finance the addiction, if this is happening. If he is stealing from the family so he can buy drugs, they may need to change locks, move valuables offsite, change bank accounts and keys and passwords. If there is a family business, they may need to go somewhat public and let the employees know that this person has a drug problem and is not to be trusted.
But perhaps the most important thing they need to do is locate an effective rehabilitation program. In most cases, it takes longer than a month on a short-term program for a person to truly recover. Years of addiction are seldom unraveled in just a few weeks. Ask questions, find out about the success rate, make sure that the program itself makes sense once it is explained to you. It will need to provide for the restoration of life skills, the ability to handle and rebuild relationships, the power to make sober decisions. This program needs to be ready for his arrival before the family faces the addicted person with an ultimatum.
If this is the position you find yourself in, find out more about the Narconon drug and alcohol rehabilitation program. For more than fifty years, it has been helping the addicted recover sober lives. Now on six continents, it’s possible that one of these centers is near you. For more info Contact +45 7060 6003
