Being Sober: A New High

I have to say that this period in my life has been a little strange for me—with almost every kind of feeling—mixed feelings.

The first day, or more exactly, since the moment my father left and I realized I was here to stay, I started to doubt myself, “Why did I do this thing to myself?”

Then I went through the withdrawal part of the program and, I have to tell you, even though it was not easy, I made it through it without too much discomfort. It would have been way worse if I had done it cold turkey!

Another thing that made me nervous was the kindness of the people around me. I used to think cynically, “This cannot be true. Who are these people who always want to help me, who are always smiling, doing things, being active? Is this for real? I don’t deserve this.”

But with the passing of time, I was “infected.”

You can not stay negative in a place like this!

Of course, this new, good feeling started when my body started to regain energy. From that point on, everything started to become more vibrant. I started noticing things, enjoying nature, laughing and my sleep started to be better and better. For example, in the last 3 or 4 days, I’ve felt rested in the mornings. I have good vibes, feeling active, wanting to do things—not just lying in bed, like the first week.

Now everything is different. I feel like a new person—or my old self—my real personality. And you know what’s strange? Being sober seems like a new high for me. I had forgotten a lot of things. I remember that around the 10th day, I started to really feel my face again. I could feel every muscle. And a very important thing is that I can see the difference in my self-esteem.

I used to feel worthless and like I only deserved bad things.

But here, talking with people, I realized I am looking forward to righting some wrongs and taking back the wheel of my life.

Things are looking good and I am very pumped for the next step.

A.S.—Narconon Europe Student